


turn the lights off, carry me home

by 5_es_oh_es (YouMakeMyHeartCry)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ashton is 20, Ashton makes luke hahaphappy, Babble not bable, I hope you like it ignore my bable, I poured my blood sweat and tears into this, M/M, Malum are very minor, Not really I just hate schoolwork and I'm great at procrastinating, also Luke's mom is a bitch, and Luke is 17 so slight underage, but I'm english so I dont see a problem, but shes not Liz, luke is sad, sorry if you don't like, sorry they didn't really fit, taxi cabs are a dominant theme, then months later about an hour, this took months, well it took ten minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 07:13:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3682869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouMakeMyHeartCry/pseuds/5_es_oh_es
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spending the evening driving around the streets of New York in a taxi every night may be a colossal waste of time and money but it was the only thing that kept Luke from losing his sanity.</p><p>Or,</p><p>Luke is sad and lonely and Ashton is an idiot that gets into a cab that is already occupied and somehow there's love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	turn the lights off, carry me home

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking on this I hope it's not a waste of your time.
> 
> As always the title is blink 182 because I have no life outside of bands.
> 
> Please leave kudos and comment but please be nice even if it's shit I have low self esteem

Spending the evening driving around the streets of New York in a taxi every night may be a colossal waste of time and money but it was the only thing that kept Luke from losing his sanity. He could just sit there and stare out of the window, watching life go by, not having to think about himself or his own life or what was waiting for him when he got out of that taxi cab. His parents never noticed he was gone, despite the fact that he'd been doing it almost every night for over a year now. The only thing that they noticed was the money disappearing out of his mother's bank account, but only until she got that promotion, because now $350 a night is like pocket change to her. 

But Luke didn't think about any of that. It was too painful. Instead he thought about the weather, about which way he should direct the taxi driver, about whether that lady in the red dress was heading to a date or a meeting, about if that street singer made more than $3 a day, about how long that little old lady had been waiting for the bus. Anything, really, to distract himself. But it didn't always work. Sometimes he wouldn't be able to help himself. He'd see something that reminded him of home, and all the memories would bombard him. Memories of living a minute away from the beach, rather than in the middle of a loud, cold, polluted city. Memories of struggling to make ends meet, but walking in to a warm hug and a "How was your day sweetheart?" every afternoon. Now they had more money than they knew what to do with, but it was like they'd forgotten that they have a son. When his dad first told him they were moving to New York and going to be rich, he'd been sad to leave, but the thought of a better life had seemed like a dream come true. Now he'd give anything to go back to how it was before, because despite how hard the stress and and the arguments and the "sorry, honey, we can't afford it" was, it was a million times better than being ignored. And when he had those nights, the nights when he was drowning in the past, he let the tears fall because fighting them was futile and he didn't care what the taxi driver thought of him, he'd never see him again anyway.

It was one of those nights that it happened. He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely noticed the cab door open until someone had hopped inside and started calling directions to the driver. 

"Hillsborough Hotel, 28th st-shit, mate, sorry. Didn't realise this one was taken." 

Luke wiped his eyes, staring at the guy in shock. Of all the people in New York City who could have gotten into his taxi, it _had_ to be an Australian guy.

"Um, mate? You alright?" The guy asked, frowning in concern. Luke nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I was...distracted."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Alright then. Sorry, I should have checked the cab was empty. I didn't think, I've been waiting for one for almost an hour and it's raining fucking cats and dogs." 

Luke noticed then, for the first time, that the guy was soaked to the skin and shivering madly. He was only wearing a thin grey long sleeved shirt and black skinny jeans.

"Shit, are _you_ alright?" 

"Yeah, mate, I'm just a little cold." 

"You're not exactly dressed for the weather! Here, put this on." Luke proceeded to wriggle out of his sweater and hand it to the guy, who grinned at him gratefully. Luke fought a blush as a thousand corny similes ran through his mind. The guy had a _really_ nice smile.

"Cheers, mate, but I'll be getting out in a second anyway." He said as he pulled the sweater on. Luke noticed that it fit him very well, and smiled.

"Why?" He asked before he realised what he was saying. The guy looked confused.

"Well, you were here first. Unless we're going the same way?"

"Oh no, I'm, um...I'm not actually going anywhere." Luke admitted. The stranger looked confused.

"What?"

"I, um...I'm kind of just, you know, driving around."

"Oh, I get it," the guy said, "don't want to go home?" 

"No, don't worry. I just don't really like my life and spending a few hours driving around aimlessly helps take my mind off of things." 

"So you do this a lot?"

"Every night."

"Fuck, man, that must cost you a fuckload."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a potty mouth?" Luke raised an eyebrow. The stranger looked sheepish.

"Sorry, mate."

"S'fine. Yeah. You're right, it costs a fortune. But my parents don't notice." He shrugged. The guys eyes widened.

"Mate, that's gotta be, like, a couple hundred dollars a night."

"About three-fifty, usually." 

"Must be nice to have enough money to not notice your kid spending over a thousand dollars a week on bloody _taxis_. So what's the deal? Parents notice you about as much as they notice the money?"

Luke choked on air, he was so shocked.

"How did you...?"

"Mate, you've just told me you hate your life, your parents have more money than sense, and you spend every night in a bloody taxi to get away from them. It's not hard to put two and two together." 

"Right, I guess it's not all that complicated. I'm just not used to people knowing what's going on. I think most people just assume I'm some kind of emo." He shrugged. The stranger laughed. 

"You sound like an incredibly lonely person. Hang on...you're Australian!" He suddenly exclaimed. Luke chuckled at his sudden emotional swing, from sad and pitiful to puppy-like excitement.

"Yeah, I am. Took you long enough." Luke joked, raising an eyebrow. The stranger pouted playfully.

"S'not my fault. Your voice is all stuffy, like you've been crying. _Have_ you been crying?"

"Um, yeah, a little." Luke admitted, embarrassed. The guy just smiled and reached out like he wanted to comfort him, but decided against it, letting his hand fall onto the leather seat. 

"I'm Ashton, by the way." He spoke up after a few minutes of surprisingly comfortable silence. Luke grinned, pleased by the gesture of trust. Admittedly, a first name isn't much, but to Luke it felt like Ashton was practically saying "I'm certain that you're not a psycho and I think we could be friends". 

"Luke." He replied. 

"No way! I have a cousin called Luke. Actually, I'm supposed to be staying with him while I'm in NYC, but he has this girlfriend and they fuck like rabbits and it was keeping me up at night, so I'm staying at the hotel until they cool down. Or break up." 

Luke smiled as Ashton babbled, soothed by the familiar accent and the childlike pleasure the man seemed to take in _everything_. 

"...and I started telling her about the time it was so hot my thongs melted into the pavement and she looked at me like I was a psychopath and walked away! It turns out that in the US, a thong is _women's_ _underwear_! But obviously I had no idea so for, like, a whole week I was too paranoid to venture out into public, thought I smelled bad or something. That girl must have thought-" he was cut off as the car jolted to a halt and the driver called out.

"Hillsborough, 28th Street." 

Ashton looked confused for a moment, glancing at Luke, who shrugged. 

"I guess I'm off, then," he sounded disappointed. "Maybe I'll see you around. It was a pleasure to meet you, Luke." 

"Yeah, mate, it was a pleasure to meet you too." Luke replied, smiling, trying to hide his own disappointment, and failing. 

"This might sound a little strange, and I totally get it if you say no, but could I, um...could I get your number?" Ashton asked, biting his lip nervously. Luke beamed at him, nodding enthusiastically enough to make the older man smile back heartily. 

Once Ashton had made his way back inside the hotel, the driver asked Luke where he wanted to go next. He checked the time: 9:25. He usually wouldn't go home for another couple of hours at least, but somehow the thought of driving around alone wasn't as appealing as it had been less than an hour previously. He thought for a few moments, and then reeled off his home address, deciding that an early night would do him good.

...

Ashton didn't message him. Not once, in two whole weeks. After the first week, Luke had pretty much given up hope, so by the second he was back to the way he was before; driving around all night, brooding and lonely. As much as he denied it, Ashton's rejection (that was how he viewed the lack of so much as a text message) got him down. He found himself directing the cab driver to pass the Hillsborough almost every night, and didn't even try to pretend that he wasn't eagerly scanning the sidewalk for signs of the curly-haired Australian. 

Almost three weeks later he had managed to mostly shove the thoughts of the man to the back of his mind when, during calculus, his phone buzzed with a message. He was surprised, since he rarely got text messages, and when he did it was his parents and they would never text him during the school day. Checking that the teacher was distracted, he pulled the phone from his pocket and opened the message. 

Unknown: grab some drumsticks from the music store on ur way home m8? broke mine again. thanks.

He stared down at the screen, frowning in utter confusion. This message certainly wasn't for him, he knew that much. He was poised to tap out a response when his phone was snatched out of his hand and he received an hour long detention at lunch for his trouble. By the end of the day, as he made his way back to his math classroom to pick up his confiscated cellphone, he'd forgotten pretty much all about the message.

...

The next day he woke up to another message from the same unknown number, and as he read it his heartbeat sped up and he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Unknown: Luke! So sorry about yesterday, totally got the wrong Luke, that was meant for my cousin, but I'm glad it went to you because I had TOTALLY forgotten that you gave me your number! I'm so so so sorry I didn't call, I came down with a cold the morning after we met and I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to contact you and by the time I got better I'd forgotten. I'm a total arse and I know it but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, call me? I'm working all day but I finish about seven so give me a ring if you have chance? Thanks! -Ashton 

Luke would have very much liked to ignore the guy, for a few hours at the very least, but temptation was too much. He held out for less than three minutes before he hit dial.

"Hello?" Ashton answered almost instantaneously, and Luke couldn't help the way his heart flipped at the sound.

"Hi, Ashton? It's Luke. Not your cousin, the other one. I got your message...you said to call?" He trailed off weakly, not really sure what to say. Ashton giggled, and Luke wasn't sure he'd ever heard snyone over the age of twelve _giggle_ before but he Ashton definitely did and it was endearing as _fuck_.

"Luke! I'm so glad you called! I was worried you'd be too angry that I'd forgotten you. How have you been?"

"I've been okay, I guess. How about you? Have you recovered?"

"Yeah, thanks, I'm doing good. I'm really sorry, by the way. I don't know how I managed to forget to call you, but I wish I had done sooner." 

Luke blushed, flattered. He'd never in a million years have expected a guy like Ashton to want contact him at all, and yet he seemed genuinely disappointed in himself.

"That's alright, Ashton. Don't feel bad." 

"But I do. Hey, I have an idea! How about I take you out for coffee to make up for it?" 

"Um, sure I guess. If you want. You have nothing to make up for, though." Luke insisted. Ashton sighed and Luke could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

"Luke, don't be dense. I'm trying to ask you out."

Luke's jaw dropped. _Ask_ _him_ _out_? Like on a _date?_. His mind was running a mile a minute; he wasn't even _gay_. He tried to ignore the niggling little voice in his mind that was pointing out the fact that he'd _definitely_ been attracted to Ashton, telling himself that he was tired and anyway there's a difference between acknowledging somebody's attractiveness and actually being attracted to them. He was flattered, though, that someone who was as good looking as Ashton and could probably get any guy he wanted was asking _him_ out, of all people. 

"Um, Luke? Are you there?" Ashton sounded nervous and Luke suddenly realised he'd been silent for almost a minute.

"Yeah, um, sorry, I was just surprised. I, um...look, Ashton, I'm flattered, but-"

"You have a boyfriend, right? Shit. Well, I'm sorry, this is awkward. I understand completely, I'm sorry I asked."

"No! I don't have a boyfriend. I, um, actually...Ashton, I'm not gay." He cringed as he said it. He couldn't fathom why but he felt almost embarrassed.

"What? You're not?" Ashton sounded shocked and Luke wondered briefly if he should be offended. "Shit. Well, that's even more awkward. Sorry, man, I didn't mean to offend you..."

"No, I'm not offended! And I'd still like to go for coffee. I just didn't want to give you the wrong idea."

"Oh. So you're not gay, but you're not offended that I thought you were, and you still want to go on a date with me?"

"Not a date. Just coffee. If I buy my own coffee, it's not a date." 

Ashton laughed, and Luke found himself joining in. He had to admit, the situation was quite ridiculous. And the other boy's laugh was infectious.

"Alright, Luke, if that's what you want. Want to meet me outside my hotel in about half an hour?" He asked. Luke hesitated; he had a paper due the next day that he could really do with finishing, but the thought of seeing Ashton again was tempting. Shrugging to himself, he agreed to meet him there. As soon as he hung up on Ashton he was dialling a taxi and then rushing around to change into something presentable.

Not that it was a date, or anything. 

...

"Good to see you again, taxi boy." Ashton greeted him, a blinding smile on his face. Luke grinned back, hopping out of the cab and managing to trip over his nonexistent laces and stumbling into Ashton. Laughing, Ashton helped him regain his balance. "For someone who spends so much time in taxis you're pretty shit at getting out of them." 

"What can I say, having ten foot beanpoles for legs has its disadvantages." Luke muttered bitterly, fighting a blush. Ashton rolled his eyes.

"Oh, the woes of being six foot four. I pity you, I really do." He replied sarcastically. "Come on, let's get out of here, I'm suffering from coffee withdrawal."

Ashton led him down the street and they walked side by side, making small talk that somehow wasn't awkward at all until they arrived at a quaint little building sandwiched between a deserted dental surgery and one of those fast food joints that make Luke want to hold his breath to avoid inhaling toxic chemicals. Ashton noticed his distaste and looked apologetic.

"Sorry, it's not the nicest neighbourhood but I swear this is the best coffee you'll ever have in your life." He promised as he held the door open. Luke doubted that, but he smiled and nodded anyway.

They sat in the middle of the shop, which Luke was surprised to see was packed. Ashton told him to sit down while he got their drinks, and when Luke attempted to insist that he bought his own the older boy just pointed out that if they both went to the counter they might lose their table. 

Luke checked his phone while he waited, not registering that he hadn't told Ashton what he even wanted until there was a steaming mug of unknown-but incredibly pleasant-smelling- liquid in front of him. 

"One caramel shortcake soya milk mocha for taxi boy, and one vanilla and ginger skim milk latte for me." Ashton announced, loudly enough for the tables around them to shoot them annoyed glances, as he took his seat. Luke grinned, enthusiastically taking a sip of his drink, winning as it burnt his tongue but then he smiled in awe because he'd honest-to-God never had anything so delicious. 

"Ashton, you're my hero." He said, looking him in the eyes. Ashton winked.

"If I had a dollar every time I heard that..."

"You'd have one dollar, you arrogant bastard." 

"True. Seriously, though, I told you. This place is out of this world."

"You were right. We have to come back here."

"Really?" Ashton look surprised, "you want to do this again?" 

"Of course. We're friends, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I thought...never mind." Ashton looked down at his drink, blushing. Luke frowned, confused.

"What did you think? Ashton, speak to me."

"I just thought...it sounds stupid and pathetic, but I thought you'd just come today because you felt sorry for me. And I was too selfish to save you the bother because I really wanted to see you again." 

"Ashton, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I know we didn't talk for long but I was pretty gutted when you didn't text, to be honest. I don't have a lot of friends and I kind of thought I'd found one, so it hurt when I thought you didn't care. But I'm really pleased we're here, honestly. I'd like us to be good friends. Really."

Ashton smiled, looking at him thoughtfully as if searching for something. Finally, when Luke was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable, he answered him.

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, Lucas?" Was his deep, meaningful reply. Luke snorted into his coffee, body shaking with laughter. 

"Ashton, I told you, I'm not gay. Even fantastic lines like that one aren't going to change that fact."

"Dammit. It was worth a try." Ashton grinned cheekily. Luke just rolled his eyes again. "Seriously, though, I'm glad you want to be friends. And I'm sorry I thought you were gay."

"It's alright. I'm sorry I'm not." Luke replied, eyes twinkling with mirth. Ashton shrugged, pouting.

"I guess I can forgive you. But only if you go get me another coffee." 

"Done. What do you want?"

"Surprise me."

...

They walked back to Ashton's hotel trading embarrassing stories about last relationships, and Luke's chest was hurting from laughing so much by the time they arrived. 

"Alright, taxi boy. I assume you're getting a cab home?"

"Yeah, there should be one around soon. I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Of course. Are you free tomorrow? Say, lunchtime?" Ashton asked, Luke shook his head.

"Sorry, I've got school. I'm free afterwards though." He frowned in confusion when he noticed that Ashton had frozen, a look of shock on his face. 

"Did you say _school?_ "

"Um...yeah?"

"Please tell me you mean college."

"No, I, um...I mean high school. I'm a junior."

"Fuck!" Ashton shouted, looking so furious that Luke took a step back, concerned that he might swing at him, "Luke, fuck, why didn't you tell me? How old are you?"

"Seventeen." He said softly, wincing as Ashton's anger seemed to double.

"Shit, you're not even eighteen, you're a fucking _minor_. Fucking hell."

"Ashton, I'm sorry, I didn't realise-" 

"No, don't be sorry, it's not your fault. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. I should have asked, I just assumed that you were, like, a year or two younger than me. Damn it, I feel like such a _creep_."

"Whoa, Ashton, you're not a creep. Not at all."

"Luke, I'm almost twenty-one. And I asked you out! Isn't that, like, illegal?"

"No, it's not, and it's not creepy either because we didn't go on a date. We're friends and it doesn't matter how old you are, fucking hell, you're acting as if I'm _twelve_." Luke snapped. He was pretty pissed off. He could deal with Ashton thinking he was gay, but being treated like he was some _kid_ who'd lied about his age was too much.

"It's not that I think you're a child, Luke," Ashton said, as if reading his mind, "I just...it doesn't even matter. Look, there's a cab coming. You should go home. I'll text you, alright?"

"Yeah, alright." The last thing he wanted was to leave it there, but he could see that Ashton needed time to think so he flagged down the cab and waved goodbye as he clambered in. He was hurt, and pissed off that such a good evening had ended so badly. It wasn't even seven and all he wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep until he was old enough to move back to Australia.

He fought the urge to cry the entire way home. 

...

Luke was miserable for the next three days because it was three days before Ashton texted him. 

Ashton: Hey, Luke, I'm sorry. I'm an ass. I hate myself for hurting you because I know I did. The truth is, I was totally crushing on you big time and finding out that you're not as old as I thought you were threw me off. But I've done a lot of thinking and I realised that it's not like anything was going to happen anyway so it's okay for us to be friends, right? Just, like, let me know if you still want to be friends. -Ash.

Luke: You're an idiot if you think I don't want to be friends with you anymore. It's Saturday and I have no plans except for moping around in my bedroom and avoiding my parents. Even a crappy friend like you is better than that. -Luke (P.s that was a joke, you're brilliant.) 

Ashton: Ouch. Maybe you're not as nice as I thought you were. I may have to reconsider this offer of friendship.

Luke: I'll take you to the movies and buy you chocolate.

Ashton: You're my best friend see you in ten.

...

In hindsight, it was probably a stupid idea to tell Ashton that he could deal with horror movies, considering he now found himself hugging his knees to his chest, watching some hot girl with boobs bigger than her head being cleaved in half. And the movie had only just begun.

"Fuck." He burst out, wincing as if in pain as another creepy mutant _thing_ jumped out of another creepy bush. Ashton glanced at him, the smile on his face morphing into concern when he saw the state that the younger boy was in.

"Fucking hell, Luke. I thought you said you could watch horror movies?"

"I lied, okay. I lied I lied I lied I lied. I hate horror movies and I'm never going to sleep again ever." 

"Come on, moron, let's get out of here." Ashton muttered, grabbing Luke's arm and pulling him to his feet, earning them a few angry hisses from the rest of the audience. Luke was mortified but he didn't fight as Ashton dragged him out of the movie theatre. 

Once outside he took a few gulps of fresh air and managed to calm his racing heart. Ashton watched, one eyebrow quirked in amusement.

"I've never seen anyone so fucking terrified by a _film_ in my life."

"Sorry, I know it's stupid, but I hate horror movies. I don't know what I was thinking, lying to you."

"Hey, you were embarrassed, it's no biggie. But next time, let's stick to something rated 15." 

"Damn. That rules out Fifty Shades of Grey." Luke joked. Ashton looked horrified.

"Don't tell me you want to see that shit?"

"I was joking, Ash. Calm down. What's so bad about Fifty Shades?"

"Nothing, I suppose. Just not something I'm all that interested in seeing. Watching straight people have sex makes me cringe a little."

"Some people would say that's heterophobic."

"I am heterophobic. I think that all heterosexual people are sinners." Ashton joked, linking his arm with Luke's and leading him away from the movie theatre. Luke chuckled. 

"I'm heterosexual." He pointed out, pouting. Ashton raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's still up for debate." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing at all. I was joking."

"There's a lot of joking going on right now."

"And no laughing. Obviously we're both hilariously un-funny individuals." 

"Speak for yourself," Luke shoved him aside, mock-offended, misjudging his strength and almost sending him stumbling into the road, "I'm hilarious."

"And homicidal, apparently!" Ashton exclaimed. Luke just chuckled.

"Not my fault you're so short and slight."

"Hey. I'll have you know that I'm a very manly man." 

"Manly my arse." Luke scoffed. 

"You're seventeen, Lucas. You wouldn't know manly if it _bit_ you in the arse." Ashton rebuffed. Luke huffed and sped up, so much that Ashton had to almost run to keep up. "Hey, slow down taxi boy."

"No, I'm mad at you."

"Lukey, please." Ashton whined. Luke felt a strange sensation in his stomach at the pet name, but chose to ignore it, brushing it off as hunger pangs. 

"If you're so _manly_ why don't you grow longer legs and catch up eh?" 

"That doesn't even make sense!" Ashton gasped, exasperated. Luke just laughed and kept walking. He was actually about to stop and turn around since Ashton hadn't said anything and he was half worried he'd disappeared when he felt arms wrap around his neck, followed by legs around his waist. He almost fell but managed to regain his balance as Ashton crowed triumphantly in his ear.

"Who's the manly one now?" He cried. Luke snorted. 

"Oh yes Ash, you're so manly. It's incredibly manly to get a piggy back from a seventeen year old boy, honestly."

"I guess I didn't really think this one through."

"Nope."

"Ah well. I'm here now."

"Ashton, get down."

"Nope."

"You're an ass."

"No, I'm an Ash, but you were close."

"Shut the fuck up you smug bastard." Luke snapped, fighting laughter. Ashton smacked his head.

"Watch your language, young man."

"Fuck off." Was his oh-so-witty response. 

...

It became a thing after that, the two of them hanging out. The next few weeks for Luke consisted of waking up, going to school and seeing Ashton. That was all that got him through the day. It wasn't until now that Luke realised how lonely he'd been. Even though he saw Ashton virtually every day, he wasn't blowing anyone off. The friends he did have he only really hung out with at school. A small part of him was sad that his only real friend was a twenty-year-old he'd met by chance in a taxi, but for the most part he was just incredibly grateful that Ashton was a part of his life now. 

Which was probably why it hurt so much when he called Ashton one day and a voice that definitely _wasn't_ Ashton's, but _was_ distinctly male answered.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi. I was, um, calling for Ashton?"

"Well, duh. This is Ashton's phone." The guy replied, as if Luke was an idiot. He frowned, angered.

"Why are you answering it then?" He snapped. 

"Fair enough. I'm Michael, Ashton's...friend. Let's go with friend. He's in the shower at the moment. I'll let him know you called if you want?"

"No, it's fine. Don't worry. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Cheers, though."

"S'alright. Bye." The guy-Michael-hung up. Luke stared at the phone in his hand for a few minutes, trying to make sense of what he was feeling. It was almost like jealousy. But that was stupid. Ashton had other friends, he was well aware. There was no reason to be jealous. 

Except Luke was ninety-nine percent sure that this _Michael_ was more than just a 'friend', judging by what he said. And that meant that they had probably slept together. And Luke didn't know why but that made him feel incredibly confused and _sad_ , which confused him further because what reason did he have to feel sad about Ashton having sex with someone? Unless he had a crush on Ashton. Which was stupid. Because Luke was straight. Always had been. He'd never been attracted to another guy in his life.

Until Ashton had jumped into that taxi cab that night.

And suddenly it all seemed to click into place. Why he'd been so disappointed when Ashton hadn't contacted him, why he'd felt so elated that Ashton asked him out, why it hurt so much when Ashton got angry that night, why he'd become so attached to him so quickly.

It was a difficult realisation to cope with, and Luke felt a desperate need to speak to somebody about it. And he quickly realised that the only person he could talk to was Ashton, and he wasn't about to go confessing to him. Not yet anyway.

He lay on his bed for almost two whole hours, just thinking, trying to get things straight in his head and suppressing his irrational anger at this _Michael_ guy. 

He heard the front door open and close around two o'clock and remembered his mother mentioning something about finishing early today. It was a long shot, but he thought that maybe he could talk to her about it. She was his mother after all, and thought they'd drifted apart since the move, maybe something like this would bring them close together again. It was worth a try, anyway.

"Mom?" He called, taking the stairs two at a time. 

"Kitchen." She shouted in response. He made his way into the kitchen and found her unpacking grocery bags. She was reaching up to place a box in a cupboard but couldn't quite reach, so he leant over to pluck it from her hands and place it safely on its shelf. She looked up at him, shocked.

"Thank you." She said. He smiled back.

"No problem, mom. Here, let me unpack." He grabbed a bag and starting pulling out various boxes of food he didn't even recognise. After staring blankly at one packet of fancy pasta for almost thirty seconds he looked back up at her for help. 

"Does this go in the fridge or the cupboard?" He asked. She chuckled. 

"Fresh pasta goes in the fridge, dried pasta in the cupboard. You're such a boy." She rolled her eyes. He laughed, and for a moment it almost felt like they were back to the way they used to be. He hadn't felt so comfortable around his mother for months.

"Hey, mom, can I talk to you about something important?" He asked, before he lost his nerve. 

"Of course, sweetie," she nodded, smiling, "let's just finish this first." She gestured to the grocery bags. He nodded, sighing with relief. He hadn't quite expected her to shoot him down but he wouldn't have been surprised had she been reluctant, but he didn't sense that at all.

They finished unpacking and then he followed his mom into the lounge, where they sat down on opposite ends of the sofa. 

"Before you say anything, Luke, I just wanted to say that I'm aware that the two of us have drifted recently. And that's nobody's fault, but I am really sorry that it's happened, and I want to reassure you that I love you. And I'm proud of you." 

He fought the urge to tell her that, _actually_ it is somebody's fault; hers. And he ignored the little voice telling him that her words were empty, that she didn't know enough about him to be _proud_ of him. 

"Thanks, mom. I love you too. And I understand," he didn't, couldn't understand how she could put anything before him, but he didn't say that, "you've got a lot going on. But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Okay, honey. I'm all ears." She smiled, but he didn't miss the way her eyes briefly flickered to the clock on the wall. He ignored it, brushing it off as habit.

"Okay, so I know this might come as a shock to you. It's come as a shock to me too, to be honest. But I, um...I think I've developed feelings for somebody, and-"

"Lucas," she chuckled, "you're a seventeen year old boy. I would be far more shocked if you told me you don't have feelings for anyone. It's perfectly normal. So, who is she?"

"Well, actually, that's the thing... _she_ is a _he_. He's called Ashton, and we've been friends for a while. He actually thought I was gay, to begin with, and asked me out, but I told him that I was straight and we became good friends and it was all okay, but then there was this guy called Michael and I think they had sex and it made me really jealous and I just kind of realised...I have feelings for Ashton. Non-friendly feelings. And I'm not coming out, or anything, because I'm not gay. I like girls, always have. But I definitely have feelings for this guy and I'm really confused and I just needed to talk to somebody, I guess?" He'd been staring down at his hands throughout his speech, and didn't dare look up at her until a few moments after he'd stopped speaking. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. 

He'd never seen his mother look so _furious_.

"What did we do to deserve this?" She muttered under her breath, to herself. Luke felt his cheeks flame as he realised that she wasn't going to be okay with this. 

"Mom, I'm sor-"

"Don't, Luke. Don't say another word. I don't want to hear another word. I can't...I can't even look at you right now."

Luke stared at her as she got to her feet and brushed off her hundred-dollar skirt, checked her thousand-dollar watch and sighed. 

"I think you need to think really hard about what you've just told me, Lucas. Really hard. Because it's a big decision to make, and I'm willing to forget that you ever said a word if you're willing to brush aside these silly 'feelings' and not see this Ashton boy again. But if not...Lucas, please, think hard about this."

He didn't even grace her with a response. He brushed past her and fled up the stairs, telling himself that crying was the worst the could do. 

Really, he'd lost his mother months ago. He knew he had. So this really shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. But in a way he was grateful, because at least he didn't feel like he owed his parents anything. As much as it hurt him, it wasn't difficult to pack a coupe bags of clothes and other essentials. It was actually surprisingly easy to leave, because it wasn't like it was even a home to him anyway.

He passed his mother on the way out of the house. She'd just been heading into the kitchen. She took in the bags he was carrying and her jaw dropped.

"Lucas-"

"I'm not going to pretend to be someone that I'm not for you. You've done nothing to deserve that. You stopped being my mom the moment we landed in the US. I love you, mom, and I'm grateful for you for giving me a great childhood, but you're not the mother you were back then. I'll see you around." 

He didn't give her a chance to respond, because he knew if he did she'd find a way to make herself feel better, and he wanted her to feel guilty for the rest of her life.

...

It wasn't until he was outside the hotel that Luke plucked up the courage to call a Ashton. This time, the man himself answered he phone and Luke breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Lukey, what's up?" He greeted enthusiastically.

"Ash, I'm outside." He replied, voice shaky. He could sense Ashton's mood shift as he realised that Luke was upset.

"What? Why? Luke, are you alright?"

"I'm good, just come get me, please?" He pleaded, relieved to hear a door open and close even as he spoke.

"I'm on my way. Come inside, I'll meet you in the lobby."

Luke hung up, worried that his hands were shaking so much that he'd drop his phone. It was only just sinking in what had happened. He had _left_ _home_. There was no going back, not after this.

Ashton walked out of the elevator just as he reached the front desk and he took one look at the blonde and ran across the lobby to wrap his arms around him. Luke sank into him,burying his head in his neck and finally letting the sobs wrack his body.

"Luke, Lukey, it's okay, you're alright. I'm here."

"Ash, I need help. I really, really need your help." Luke managed to choke out between sobs. 

"Come on, Luke, let's go up to my room. People are staring and I know you hate attention."

Ashton led Luke into the elevator and down the corridor to his room. Luke paused, however, when Ashton held the door open.

"Is M-Michael here?"

"What? How do you know Michael?"

"He answered your phone earlier."

"Oh. The asshole obviously decided not to tell me that. No, he left. He's my friend Calum's boyfriend. Bit of an ass, but Calum loves him so I tolerate him. He just came in to ask if I knew where Calum was; they had a bit of a domestic and Calum fled the country, again. Sorry, I'm rambling, you don't need to know all this. Come on."

Luke had never felt such a huge sense of relief. And then he felt even worse, because it was his jealousy over _Michael_ that had started all this and it turns out he had completely misjudged the situation.

Ashton led him to the couch and sat him down, darting into the kitchenette to get him a glass of water. Eventually, Luke had calmed down enough to tell Ashton what had happened. He started from the beginning, when he'd called him and Michael had answered, and didn't stop until he'd said it all. He was too nervous to look Ashton in the eye throughout his whole confession, much more nervous than he'd been with his mom, because Ashton mattered so much more.

"Luke..."

"Please don't be mad. I know I told you I was straight and I know this probably ruins everything because I'm too fucking _young_ but please, please don't be angry because I don't know what I'll do if I lose you." 

"Fucking hell, Luke. You're such a moron. You're not going to lose me, I'm not angry. Shocked, yes, but not angry."

"You're not? At all?" Luke finally looked him in the eye. Ashton looked sad, and apologetic, and possibly even a little bit pleased (but that was most likely wishful thinking).

"Of course. Luke, you're rather dense if you haven't realised by now that I feel exactly the same way. Have done from the start; hell, I _told_ you that I was crushing on you."

"I thought you got over that when you found out I was seventeen?"

Ashton scoffed, "Luke. Seriously? Feelings aren't that straightforward. The reason I took so long to get over it and text you was because I was angry at myself for still feeling the same despite knowing you're only seventeen."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

"So, where do we stand?"

"Well, I don't know to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I'm elated that you have feelings for me. But you're still a minor, and I'm still twenty, and now on top of that you're _homeless_ and I'm not much better off."

"Ash, I'm really fucking scared." Luke admitted, eyes wide. Ashton looked at him for a long, long moment. And then he leant forward and kissed him. It was soft and short but Luke's heart did an entire fucking street dance routine in his chest and his face felt like someone had set him alight and Ashton didn't look much better off.

"You'll be fine. We'll both be fine."

"Can I stay with you? Please? I wouldn't ask but I have nowhere else to go." 

"As if I'd let you go anywhere else. Of course you can stay with me." Ashton rolled his eyes. Luke beamed at him.

"Thank you."

"That's alright, Luke."

"Ash, can I ask you for something else?"

"Of course you can, taxi boy." He smiled, winking. Luke smiled back and leant forwards.

"Can you kiss me again?"

"Gladly." 

Ashton surged forward, capturing Luke's lips in a kiss that made him forget that he was homeless and parent-less and basically his entire life was fucked up, a kiss that made his body buzz and ache and burn all at the same time. 

Ashton's hands were on his hips and in his hair and on his back and _everywhere_ and all Luke could think about was the soft skin underneath his own fingers as he slid his hands underneath Ashton's shirt. Panting, Ashton pulled away, and then rested his head on Luke's shoulder.

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long Luke." 

"We've only known each other for a few weeks."

"I've wanted to kiss you for a few weeks then, smart arse. Feels like longer."

"I'm sorry I took so long to figure myself out."

"From the sounds of it, you still haven't."

"True, but I don't care. All I know is that I want you, and that's all I need to know."

"Luke," Ashton whined, burying his head in his neck, "stop saying things like that."

"Why?" Luke asked, confused. Had Ashton changed his mind? The older boy moved back to look Luke straight in the eye.

"Because when you say things like that it makes me want to have sex with you and that really, really can't happen." 

Luke flushed red again and tried to speak but choked on his words. Ashton laughed, "Sorry, I didn't mean to get you all flustered."

"It's-I'm-you're-fine. It's fine." He eventually managed. Ashton giggled and kissed him again. Luke groaned, and this time it was Ashton's turn to look shocked.

"Luke?"

"You're so hot and I can't stop thinking about sex and this is all your fault." Luke sighed. Ashton giggled again and Luke was so close to smacking him because it was so unfair how attractive he was. How had he not realised how attracted he was to Ashton earlier. He found himself reaching out to touch the older boy almost subconsciously, running his hands down his toned arms and then his chest, making Ashton shiver.

"Luke, stop. Please." He pleaded, and Luke was briefly taken aback by how dark his eyes looked. "I don't want to go too far."

"How far is too far?"

"This far is too far because it's making me want to go farther." 

"And why can't we?" Luke almost whispered, trying to kiss him again, but Ashton turned his head.

"Because you're still a minor, Luke. That would be breaking the law."

"Not in Australia." Luke pointed out.

"We're not in Australia, unfortunately. We're in America, and it's against the law. We shouldn't even be kissing."

"Fuck the law. Ashton, please." Luke pouted, but Ashton wasn't shifting. 

"Luke, it's not just the law. As you said, we haven't known each other long. I don't want to rush this, especially since you've only just figured out how you feel about me."

"I might have only just figured it out but I've felt it for a while. I want this, Ashton."

"Luke, please. I can't...I can't do this to you. You're in an emotional state and I don't want you to regret anything. I lost my virginity to get back at a cheating boyfriend, and I don't want to let you lose yours to get back at your parents." 

"That's not what this is..." Luke started, but trailed off. He didn't _think_ that was what's his was about, but Ashton was right. And he'd also shared a big piece of information about his life and Luke wasn't about to let that go unnoticed. "Okay. You're right. Thank you, I appreciate that. Can we just...can we just cuddle and, like, talk?"

"Of course. I'll go get a blanket. Do you want anything to eat?"

"I'm good, thank you." Luke waited for him to come back with a blanket, "So, um, I don't mean to pry, but what you said about losing your virginity...what happened?"

Ashton sighed, looking sheepish, "It's actually quite embarrassing, but you deserve to know. I was fifteen and I'd only just realised I liked boys about a year ago. So, like, the first boy I found who also like boys was obviously quite exciting for me because I'd been so confused and it felt like he was the only person in the world like me, that understood me, you know? But he was seventeen. Which, like, not a big deal, only two years, but it's an important two years because when I was fifteen I didn't even understand how gay sex worked and I certainly wasn't ready for it so he found someone that would sleep with him and I found out and it broke my little fifteen-year-old heart. I was bitter about it for a year and then when I was sixteen, nearly seventeen, the perfect opportunity for revenge came up and, long story short, I had sex with his sister, he found out, he beat me to a pulp and I was in hospital for a week. And the shittiest thing was, sleeping with a girl made me feel sick and wrong and I hated it."

"Ash..." Luke could see that it hurt him to talk about this so rather than wasting words he just hugged him close to his chest, kissing his head soothingly. 

"Sorry, I just...losing my virginity was the worst experience of my life and I can't...I know this is nothing like that and we care about each other and it would mean something but I want you to be absolutely sure and I want it to be perfect because I can't bear the thought of you regretting it because I know how it feels." 

"Thank you." Luke whispered. Ashton smiled, and they didn't say anything else, both of them slowly drifting to sleep.

...

Luke woke up to the smell of toast and coffee and the sound of Ashton humming Good Charlotte and he had to spend a few minutes just drinking in the perfection because he'd never felt so content in his entire life. 

He eventually dragged himself out from underneath the blankets and made his way into the kitchen. Ashton was too distracted to notice him until he wrapped an arm around his waist and used the other one to pluck the slice of toast he was holding out of his hand and take a bite. Ashton giggled and slapped his hand playfully. 

"My toast." He scolded. Luke whined.

"I'm hungry, Ash."

"Give me a minute and I'll put you some bread in the toaster. It won't take long."

"But I'm hungry _now_." He pouted. Ashton rolled his eyes but handed him his own toast. Luke smiled gleefully and wolfed it down. Ashton look mildly disgusted.

"Teenagers." He muttered.

"Old people." Luke scoffed back. 

"I am not _old_." 

"Okay."

"I'll show you _old_." Ashton breathed, voice low, whirling around and grinning maliciously. Luke opened his mouth to protest but he was suddenly, unexpectedly being kissed and he wasn't about to complain. Ashton's hands were in his hair and he moved his own up to circle his waist and kissed back with everything he had. 

Ashton pulled away after a few minutes, both of them gasping for breath, and moved his lips to Luke's jawline, then down to his neck. Luke sighed with pleasure, tightening his hold on the shorter boy. When he reached his collarbone Luke expected him to stop, but instead felt a sharp pain. He'd _bitten_ him. Luke gasped, and Ashton chuckled, warm breath ghosting across Luke's skin, and then he started licking and sucking a mark into the skin. Luke was struggling to breathe and he felt himself hardening and he knew Ashton could tell because they were pressed together far too closely for him to not notice. Ashton just chuckled and pressed himself closer, enjoying having such control. 

A sudden burst of confidence had Luke sliding his hands down Ashton's back to squeeze his arse, causing Ashton to jolt with surprise and gasp audibly. Luke smirked, until Ashton rutted his hips against him and his mouth fell open in an embarrassingly loud moan and he came in his pants like an eleven-year-old boy and he'd never been so appalled at himself. Ashton, however, looked incredibly pleased with himself. 

"Did you...?"

"Shut up." Luke grumbled, face turning purple. Ashton chuckled and pulled him close again.

"Baby, don't be embarrassed, I'm not judging you. That was exactly what I meant to happen." He smiled. Luke buried his head in his neck.

"You were intending to prove that I'm a complete dork who cant even last longer than five minutes of making out?"

"Hey, dork, it was more than five minutes, and more than making out. Don't give yourself such a hard time; you're inexperienced. It happens."

"So what made you decide to, you know...do that?"

"What, make you come? I wanted to show you that being 'old' means that I have plenty of experience, something that will benefit _you_."

"Well thank you for enlightening me," Luke murmured, trying not to let on that he felt slightly bitter at the thought of all of Ashton's 'experience', "now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a shower." 

"Of course. There'll be pancakes waiting for you when you're done." Ashton promised, dropping a kiss on the end of his nose before reluctantly letting him go. 

...

It was decided that Luke would go on with his life pretty much as normal. Ashton could drive him to school and back most days, but when he couldn't because of work Luke took a taxi. He still had his own bank account, into which his parents had been feeding hundreds of dollars a week that he'd hardly touched, using his mother's bank card for most things he needed anyway. He tried to insist on helping Ashton out with paying for the hotel room but was shot down; Ashton had been saving for years before he'd come to New York, and apparently had plenty of money to fund is accommodation, and he used the money from his job to pay for food. Luke couldn't imagine how he had enough to afford staying in a hotel, but then again it wasn't exactly an upmarket hotel and if Ashton said that he was fine, he believed him.

It surprised Luke how happy he was, living with Ashton. After a few weeks it felt like it had been years. He was much happier, especially at school, knowing that he had _Ashton_ to go home to rather than an empty house, or worse, parents that had stopped loving him. He felt like he had someone who would be proud of him, which meant that his grades improved, and he was much more sociable. People actually liked him, which shocked him as much as it pleased him. 

The day Luke finished for spring break Ashton picked him up and took him directly to the coffee shop they'd been to for their first date (the one that wasn't a date but so totally _was_ a date.

"Luke?" 

"Yeah?" Luke replied around a mouthful of caramel shortcake soya milk mocha. 

"How would you feel about moving in with my cousin Luke?"

"The one with the girlfriend that he has sex with all the time?" He looked a little grossed out. Ashton laughed, nodding.

"That one, yeah. But the thing is, he's planning to move in with her in a few weeks. And he owns the apartment, and promised that he'd let us rent it for dirt cheap."

"Really? That sounds fantastic. But why do we have to move in with him now?"

"Well, I might just be being paranoid, but I'm getting a bad feeling about the hotel. Like, they know I'm twenty and they must have realised that you're staying with me, and even though we're not sleeping together so we're not breaking the law, they don't know that. I'm concerned that someone might get suspicious. I know it sounds silly, but-"

"I understand, Ash. You could get into serious trouble and that's the last thing that I want. I have no problem moving in with Luke. Honestly."

"Really?" 

"Of course not." 

"Thank you, Luke." Ashton grinned and leant over to kiss him quickly. "Come on, hurry up and finish your coffee, we need to get some groceries before we go back to the hotel." 

...

They were in the chocolate section of Walmart when it happened. 

"Ashy _please_ let me get Hershey's kisses." Luke whined. Ashton glared.

"The only kisses you're having are mine." He joked. Luke pouted and stepped closer to him.

"Ash, pleas-"

He was interrupted by somebody clearing their throat, and Luke turned around to apologise for their public display of affection but froze in place. Standing there, wide eyed and red faced, was his mother.

"Lucas..."

"Mom? What are you doing in Walmart?"

"I'm here on business. I just came to grab something to eat...how are you, Lucas?" She asked, voice stilted, like she was forcing the words out. He sighed.

"Mom, don't."

"I assume this is Ashton?" She asked, suddenly remembering that Luke wasn't alone. Ashton was glaring at her, and she flinched slightly. 

"Yeah, this is Ashton. Ash, this is my mom."

"I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but it's not." He growled. Luke grabbed his hand, shooting him a worried glance. Luke's mother stared at their joined hands, as if in pain.

"Lucas, I'm...I'm sorry things turned out this way. I'm sorry I stopped being your mother, but I did. And I can't...I can't live with-with this." She gestured at the two of them. They both knew exactly what she meant. 

"That's alright." But they all knew it wasn't. 

"Are you getting by okay? Do you need anything, any money, at all?"

"I don't want your money, mom." Luke scowled. She rolled her eyes.

"Lucas, please, don't be proud."

"I'm fine. We're fine. I have money in the bank, Ash has a job, we have a place to live. It's okay. I don't need you."

"Okay. Well then, I guess I'll see you around."

"I sincerely hope not. Goodbye mom." Luke breathed, and then he walked off down the aisle. Ashton shot Luke's mother one more angry glare, grabbed as many bags of Hershey's kisses as he could, and followed.

...

"You don't look like your mom." Was the first thing Ashton said as they got into the car. Luke laughed. 

"I know. Don't look much like my dad either. It's weird." 

"You're perfect, though." Ashton told him. He then blushed; he hadn't meant to say that aloud. Luke beamed.

"So are you." Luke replied, and Ashton was beaming too.

"Are you okay, Luke? That must have been hard." 

Luke shrugged. "Honestly, I'm alright. I guess I already got over it. Seeing her was a shock at first but it was like seeing somebody you were friends with in middle school after three years at different high schools. She's part of my past. Honestly, I feel fine."

"Good. But that means I just bought a boatload of Hershey's kisses for no reason." 

"Hershey's kisses always have reason." Luke said seriously. Ashton burst out laughing, and they were still laughing when they got back to their hotel room.

It all happened very fast after that. They unpacked the groceries and then Luke took a quick shower. He was about to pull on some boxers when Ashton walked into the bedroom. They both froze.

Until now neither of them had actually never seen the other without clothes on. They'd had a few moments like that first time in the kitchenette when Luke called Ashton old, but clothes had always remained well and truly on their bodies, mostly because of Ashton's insistence on taking things slow.

But now he was looking at Luke like he wanted to eat him alive and Luke wasn't about to protest.

"Luke, fuck, I...you're so fucking hot, Luke."

"Ash." Luke choked out. The sexual tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Ashton took a few hesitant steps forward, and Luke did the same, and suddenly they were wrapped around each other.

"God, Luke," Ashton panted, trailing kisses down his neck, "put some clothes on, please, before this goes any further."

"Ash." He whined. Ashton groaned and Luke could feel him through his jeans. He was surprised at that; he'd have thought it would take more than this for Ashton to get hard. Hell, _he_ wasn't even there yet.

"Please, Luke..."

"Fuck, Ashton, I don't want to stop. Don't make me stop." Luke was planting kisses on his neck and the sounds the older boy was making were going straight to his dick.

"We can't."

"We can."

"We shouldn't."

"Fuck, Ashton, who cares? I love you, okay? I fucking love you and I'm ready and we both want this and nobody has to know so why the fuck _not_?" Luke half-yelled, exasperated. Ashton sighed and stepped back. Luke frowned, feeling tears prick at this eyes, until he realised that Ashton was fumbling with the hem of his shirt and he watched, mesmerised, as he pulled it over his head to reveal his flat, toned chest and Luke felt an inexplicable urge to lick him.

"Fine. Fuck it. Fuck the law. Fuck everything. I love you too." He whispered the last part, but Luke heard him loud and clear and he threw his arms around him once again, bringing their lips together. His hands moved down to the zip of Ashton's black jeans, but they were so shaky that he had to help him. "Luke, are you nervous?"

"Of course I am." 

"Do you want to stop?"

"Fuck no. I'm ready. I just...I'm nervous." 

"Don't be. I love you." Ashton said it again, revelling in the sound of it, "I love you I love you I love you. If this is what you want, I'm going to make you feel so good."

"Please." The blonde whined, panting, tugging at his jeans. Ashton helped him take them off and then led him to the bed.

"Okay." 

...

Luke woke up the next morning so intertwined with his boyfriend that he didn't know which legs were his and which weren't. And he'd never felt more complete.


End file.
